Why can’t we just give Shea Couleé the crown already?
After all, she done already done had herses.
Even if it makes for a predictable All Stars, it feels only right to crown the obvious winner this season, miss Shea Couleé.
Scorned still by the major rug-pull that was the Season 9 finale, where she lost to Sasha Velour in a sickening lip sync-for-the-crown – a moment she referenced in one of her looks this season, Shea’s entire arc is all about securing a win that eluded her once.
Now, Shea comes into All Stars 5 prepared for twists and other bafooneries. The early change this season switches up the rules to introduce a social aspect to the game. Though Shea is known to be a congenial queen (read: her sisterly arc with Nina Bonina Brown), it isn’t unfair to think that Shea knows to put that part of her personality to the forefront, being that this new All Stars has gone full-on Survivor mode.
Which means she’ll need to receive the vote of her peers – something that ultimately bit Shangela in All Stars 3. Whatever that entailed, Shea made a great showing thus far, socially. She worked well with fellow queens, even with ones she had had drama with like Alexis Mateo. And in this week’s episode, she goes out of her way to help frontrunners Jujubee and Miz Cracker with their garments – a sweet moment to be sure, but also a great strategy to be on her competitors’ good side.
All of this leads this writer to believe that Shea might be anticipating a face-crack, jury of eliminated queens at the finale, and is smart to take great care of her social game.
However, not all curve balls are produced by the show. On Week 3, RuPaul and the producers had the gall to unjustly place Shea on the bottom with Mariah Balenciaga and India Farrah. This would spark a multi-episode arc that culminates to Week 5’s bombastic, Survivor-like gameplay where India essentially throws her friend under the bus by telling Shea that Alexis had been conspiring against her.
Aware that even with a Survivor-esque game mechanic, All Stars is and always will be pageantry, Shea did the right thing. She did not take India for her word and aired out the issue…in front of everyone. The gaggery. This sprung both India and Alexis in a tailspin, each alleging that the other’s story is a total lie. The way that Shea handled this convinces me that she’s the one deserving of the crown – and unlike Season 9, has a fair chance of actually snatching it.
I feel that at this point, to not crown her would be a disservice to the show’s dwindling reputation. Borrowing Bob the Drag Queen’s lyric, “All Stars  is yet another rig.”
That’s not to discount Juju and Cracker’s showing. Both showed consistent looks and performances. And I feel very happy that they showed up so much this season. The two of them with Shea are the obvious Top 3 All Stars, which means Blair St. Clair might finally get the axe next week. Blair had a rather awkward showing this season, appearing almost as somewhat of a kid trying her darned-est to get the grown-ups’ approval.
All that being said, it’s only right that Shea snatches the crown. If she doesn’t there’d be hell to break loose, and the Twitter gays would transfigure into parademons ready to pounce on the show, this writer included.
RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 5 airs every Friday night on VH1 every Friday at 8PM (U.S. central time). Check out the promo for the season below.